Increasing Happiness in Spite of Money, Not Because of It
You would think that as a financial planner my goal would be to convince you that you need lots of money. This is the message the financial services industry wants you to believe:
Let us make you a lot of money so you can buy more things and then you’ll be happy.
And our consumerist society reinforces this message:
You’ll never be happy until you have this new (fill in the blank).
But this thinking only leads us to getting onboard the hedonic treadmill. So begins our mindless cycle of going through the motions: need thing → need money → temporary happiness → need new thing → need more money → more temporary happiness. And once we’re on, it’s very difficult to get off.
I know this because I’ve experienced it too. There was a time in my life when I couldn’t get enough money. I had a good income, but every dollar that came into my hands went to buy crazier things. $250 jeans? Sure. Even $350?! They must be better so, yes, of course. $500? Nah, I’ll stick to the $350 pair. The more I bought the more the need grew to buy more to get that hit of fake “happiness.” It was madness. Then, for reasons that I’ll explain in a future post, my money was gone and I couldn’t get those quick highs. I was left with a huge negative-emotion hangover that lasted a long time. Depression, shame, sadness, regret, anxiety. You name it, I’ve lived through it.
It wasn’t until I decided to look for happiness outside of money and things that my mental and financial well being improved significantly. For me, it started with investing in my true self: lots of meditation, yoga, exercise, and spirituality. That really raised my baseline level of happiness. I realized how much I already had going for me without the need for a new whatever. And I discovered how much the natural world has to offer us, all of it for free. I took this new mindset outward and created a deeper connection with family and friends. The more I experienced these wonderfully inexpensive activities, the more permanent joy I felt being added to my life. Do I still get anxious, angry or depressed? Sure, but now those are the fleeting emotions and the happiness tends to stick around for longer and longer.
Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand that money does provide a certain level of happiness. Money allows us to cover our basic needs and experience things that bring pleasure. But there is a fine line between having enough money to do that and having ever-more money that pushes us onto the treadmill. The key, then, is to find what is enough for each one of us and use money simply as a tool (one of many available) that allows us to align our lives to that vision. That’s my goal as a financial life planner. Doing that takes introspection and self-discovery, and a lot of people aren’t willing to endeavor in such activities. So they keep going around in circles chasing after each hit of momentary happiness. And all I can say to that is there is an alternative. You just have to be willing to get off (or pushed off as was my experience) the treadmill.
Are you ready to stop walking the hedonic treadmill? Click below to schedule a 30-minute intro call to learn more about how to experience happiness without having to buy anything.
